Funniest Joke Ever Reddit

Funniest Joke Ever Reddit" "My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. What has a bed that you can't sleep in? A river. So here is the list of those that are, in our opinion some of the funniest jokes ever 1. What's the shittiest, least funny joke you've ever told during a stand up routine? “I saw Walter Mondale said on the news 'I am ready to be . The world funniest joke according to science A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. Seamus looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy. - Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? - "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. A young person is a child, grows up, grows old, and then becomes like a child again. This is one of my favorite jokes that NOBODY ever thinks is funny. A plateau is the highest form of flattery. * It's pretty funny to see peoples reactions to this joke and to see how they reply to it when all you're really making is a statement. Funny can be good: What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? A $100 bill. **NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. net It's hard to define what a dad joke is, but you know one when you hear it!. one Reddit user asked others online to share their one “go-to” joke. See more cute, hilarious, funny pics, GIFs, videos on FunnyWorm. Usually when people tell dirty jokes they aren’t funny – or at least I don’t find them to be. My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. With an ensemble cast starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer, the show revolves around six friends in their 20s and 30s who live in Manhattan, New York City. 30 Funny Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb, They're Actually Funny…. It's amazing how entertaining two-line jokes from Reddit can be. Dirty Jokes That Are Actually Funny And NSFW. Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. He was always a trouble maker the teachers never liked him. The 51+ Best Funniest Joke Jokes. You have my word Advertisement 3. Compiled by Robert Liwanag, Reader's Digest Canada Updated: May 05, 2022. Alyssa: “I’ve had it up to here with you, John!. Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO! He's an Italian plumber Created by the Japanese Who speaks English And looks like a Mexican Jumps like a black man And grabs coins like a Jew. Reddit has had some pretty funny jokes told on the platform over time so we decided to put together a list of reddit's funniest jokes ever based on the amount of likes it has received, being safe for work, how funny we find them and understandability for the. These are some of the cleverest funny one liner jokes you'll ever read. So he drives to the sellers house, and asks “can I see your talking dog?”. DukeMcGoober: Then God said unto John: "Come forth and receive eternal life. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. Two foreigners arrive in Canada: -More, when you see what's in the country at least one of these Reddit jokes, you can't do anymore! 0. The funniest joke in the UK. * That's the joke. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give. 1 What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Shutterstock Aye matey! 2 What's orange and sounds like a parrot? Shutterstock A carrot! 3 What do lawyers wear to court? Shutterstock Lawsuits! 4 What did Delaware? Shutterstock A New Jersey! 5. Nor did the thousands of Twitter and Reddit users who responded to a viral post about the joke in March. Sit back, click play, and laugh your face off with the funniest YouTube videos, as selected by Reddit users. Very funny belated April Fools prank. " The bartender says "propeller!". What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off. Top 10 Worst Jokes Ever. Stop elephant poaching, everyone knows the best way to. My wife wants me to buy her a new $50,000 car and she can't even drive yet. "I have a lot of growing up to do. Some of the funniest two-line jokes are actually pretty corny, but certain ones may take a while to figure out. "A homeless man once said that he would tell me the funniest joke of all . Know any actually funny dirty jokes? Let us know below!. Best jokes from comedians “Crime in multi-storey car parks. Reddit Ask Social media Mobile app Meta/Reddit Information & communications technology Technology. A young person is a child, grows up, grows old, and then becomes like a child again. From classy to sassy, these are the puns that can make anyone laugh (or roll their eyes at least). Reddit consists of thousands of subreddits, which are pages devoted to individual topics. and Burns Top 10 Best Yo Mama So Fat Jokes Top 10 Best Prank Call Ideas Top 10 Best Chuck Norris Facts Top 10 Yo Mama Jokes Top 10 Funniest Insults Top 10 Funniest Ways to Die Best Yo Mama So Ugly Jokes. Although not everyone is a big fan. Check out these 25 clever jokes that’ll make you sound smart. com We all love a good dirty joke, especially here at ebw, but that doesn't mean clean humor can't also be pretty funny. He was so good, I don’t even care. " "Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!" "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Reddit Funnies These have me in tears! My Crazy Email from www. What is the funniest clean joke you have ever heard? 0 points. Why did the sperm cross the road? “Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo. Parallel lines never meet [irp] 6. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession. Mexico Border Crossing might be the funniest joke of a map I’ve ever seen. That day, a priest comes in to have his hair cut. ago Why doesn't Oedipus use foul language? He kisses his mother with that mouth. Mexico Border Crossing might be the funniest joke of a map I’ve ever seen Okay Infinity Ward you’ve had your fun now can we have whatever real map you had in store for us cause surely this map isn’t real. Reddit iOS Reddit Android Rereddit Best Communities Communities About Reddit Blog Careers Press. It’s a nice saying, but a terrible way to find out you’re adopted. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. Dirty Jokes That Are Actually Funny And NSFW. 👍🏼 Where did sally go when the bomb went off? - everywhere. Germanys funniest joke according to research A man comes to the fortune teller and sits in front of the crystal ball. ” Groucho Marx “The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally. What is the best joke you have ever heard that is so good you will remember it forever? Related Topics. Men of Reddit, what was something you didn't know about women till you got with one?. The father sighs and says: “You know, you could do better. Nobody knows, because nobody ever reads what moderators write. "I don't have an attitude problem. ZM's Late Show with Cam Mansel. One night Marty Schwartz starts his prayer " Dear lord this is . Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels. It's no surprise the knock knock joke has lasted nearly 100 years—its countless set-ups and punchlines have made people laugh the world over!. A joke about democracy and freedom Advertisement 7. 100 Funniest Jokes of All Time. 4chan is an anonymous English-language imageboard website. Reddit is the place where people come together to have the most authentic and interesting conversations on the internet—Where gaming . Best Dark Humor Jokes 1. When the actual joke is that the Chinese person is named How Long. Did you ever wonder why Peter Pan is always flying? It’s because he can never never land. Funniest Dad Jokes Reddit. If, as Shakespeare said, brevity is the soul of. Some of the funniest two-line jokes are actually pretty corny, but certain ones may take a while to figure out. Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted 4. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Check out these 25 clever jokes that’ll make you sound smart. The 35+ Best Norm Macdonald Jokes. 10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told. If anybody does, please just leave me your contact details and I will drop them off tomorrow. "Hello, I want a single room for the night please. However, while many of us have repertoires chock-full of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is needed—like when you're trying to win over that new boss or elicit a laugh from your grandma. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak minsookim1398 Report 456 points POST. The funniest sub on Reddit. He does this for 10 years every night before bed. I caught my wife in bed with my best friend. Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. ago This joke is motherfucking amazing 50 Continue this thread 1 more reply level 1 · 1 yr. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down, sir, first make sure that he's really dead. "People tell me I'm condescending" Leans in real close "That means I talk down to people. She told me I was the biggest she'd ever been with. You are not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example. The funniest joke ever told involves a hunter who calls 911 after his friend collapses from an apparent heart attack. What makes us laugh? It's serious research. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Condoms have evolved: they’re not so thick and insensitive anymore. Related · The McDonalds happy meal was invented in Guatemala · Humans haven't beaten a computer at chess since 2005 · Lady shaves a strip through her husband's . Some of the funniest two-line jokes are actually pretty corny, but certain ones may take a while to figure out. Ron really just finds a way to screw. As he died he kept insisting they all ” Be positive ” but it’s very hard without him. Second, the "joke" came from a friend who showed me an Alexa/Google Home Commercial that had been edited such that the device responded in German. Reddit has had some pretty funny jokes told on the platform over time so we. " But the one female airplane doesn't want to go, and their like "we can't get her to leave. " The fortune teller smiles and answers: "YOU believe that!" upvote downvote report Eight year old tells funniest joke. What is the funniest joke you've ever heard or read?. Here come the longer funny jokes! Be careful, with them: Three guys go on a ski trip together. com Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him. Because they’re used to eating nuts What’s long and hard and full of semen? A submarine. Jokes come in all shapes and sizes, from the ones that require a lot of setup and a health attention span to the quick zingers that you can shoot off without thinking. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo!. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Here's the best clean puns and dad jokes from Reddit, the front page of Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher but no one ever . It is funnier when spoken, but since I have no friends, Reddit will have to do. Man: It’s the worst thing ever. It's amazing how entertaining two-line jokes from Reddit can be. Holy cow! A pair of cows were talking in the field. I recently came across her death certificate and had a brilliant idea! "I know how we can bring mom back!" I exclaimed. The ugly and poor joke 2. Stranger yells back "You are on the other side". But maybe that is also why I do love punsAnyway, you are here too to get all the funniest best dad jokes ever and of all time, not just this 2022. The boy screams, "You could have mentioned that the potato goes in the front!" ***. It's setting up an expectation and then deviating from it. A whole lot of funny can fit into just a couple of quick sentences. Best Dark Humor Jokes 1. The site is no different when it comes to funny jokes. 2 Total Body Transformation Every person who's given birth is technically an elite bodybuilder. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run. Get 24/7 support, best-in-class security, and market-leading performance. We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the corniest joke they've ever heard (and then threw in a few more from Reddit for good measure). Top 10 Funniest Actually Funny Jokes and Puns My mother died a few years ago. Usually when people tell dirty jokes they aren’t funny – or at least I don’t find them to be. How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button! People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell. A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years out in a park. With an ensemble cast starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer, the show revolves around six friends in their 20s and 30s who live in Manhattan,. 98 1 more reply 4 tonygenius • 7 yr. - We have 3 news for you: good, bad and great. When the actual joke is that the Chinese person is named How Long. He cracks a grin and says"Y'all mother fuckers are alright!" TheMoonWalker115 •. " The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please. 87+ Dark Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud. Fred points his fingers at the dog and says "Bang!" The dog does nothing. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. 30 Best Dad Jokes Of All Time! Jimmy 10/10/2022 Jokes Tags: Clean Jokes Puns Lifestyle Jokes Puns Teenager Puns Jokes. The series was produced by Bright/Kauffman/Crane Productions, in association with Warner Bros. Anti-jokes turn that formula on its ear. Dirty Jokes That Are Actually Funny And NSFW. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?. With an ensemble cast starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer, the show revolves around six friends in their 20s and 30s who live in Manhattan, New York City. Herein, we've rounded up the 50 funniest jokes that are so silly they're practically sunshine. Lincoln repliedif you are my wife I’ll gladly drink it. "i have an imaginary girlfriend. Friends is an American television sitcom created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, which aired on NBC from September 22, 1994, to May 6, 2004, lasting ten seasons. Guys I have the funniest joke ever, like, no one can top this one. com We all love a good dirty joke, especially here at ebw, but that doesn't mean clean humor can't also be pretty funny. The Best 82 Stupid Jokes Of All Time Talking Oceans Q: What did one ocean say to another? A: Nothing, they just waved. What do you get when you pour root beer into a square cup? Beer. We're talking the best of the worst, the creme of the corniest, the dad-est of the dad. "Mind if i take a look?" - without a reply from the landlord, the boy enters the pub to be greeted with an enormous amount of smoke. And while there's certainly a place in every amateur. A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. The major plus of short jokes is that they're easy to repeat from off the top of your head, meaning that the 50 gags below are perfect for pulling out the next time you're hanging around with your friends, entertaining your kid. Intelligent Dinosaur Q: What is the name of a dinosaur with a large vocabulary? A: A The-Saurus A Threat To Your Teeth. "I just heard the funniest joke in the world!. "Exactly 2,742," the lumberjack replies. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment. ” – Tim Vine “Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the. Everything from current events and politics to funny memes has a place here, and one needs only to search for a subject that interests them to find an entire community of like-minded souls looking to share their web findings and daily musings with others. Personally, I LOVE Dad jokes. I caught my wife in bed with my best friend. There are jokes, and then there are anti-jokes. What is the funniest clean joke you have ever heard? Judas: hey Jesus are you coming to the last supper? Jesus: the what!?!? Judas: supper I mean supper. Father: “I was talking to your girlfriend. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think! #1 Speed Of Light Light travels faster than sound. It's amazing how entertaining two-line jokes from Reddit can be. Laugh more: Hilarious Corny Jokes Did you ever wonder why Peter Pan is always flying? It’s because he can never never land. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. The best dad jokes are the ones you see you coming a mile away. A son tells his father: “I have an imaginary girlfriend. Looking for funny HR and recruiting jokes? · Recruitment joke #1. Why did the scarecrow get an award?. We love the Joke of the Day and organizations that use the Joke of the Day as a way to create a humor culture, so here are the top 10 funniest jokes ever told that you can use for your Joke of the Day! 10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told - for the Joke of the Day (This was ranked #1): A woman gets on a bus with her baby. We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the corniest joke they've ever heard (and then threw in a few more from Reddit for good measure). Plus, coffee with no milk tastes a lot worse than . Check out these 25 clever jokes that’ll make you sound smart. I was at a sleepover at a friends house when we were 12. So here is the list of those that are, in our opinion some of the funniest jokes ever 1. Dirty Jokes That Are Actually Funny And NSFW. Come to think of it, I see why. One's man's trash is another man's treasure. A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years out in a park. An example of one-line joke that plays on words is that people can’t explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally. The punchline comes, you cringe and turn to your old man. A 2002 LaughLab study that featured over 40,000 jokes and 1. Reddit iOS Reddit Android Rereddit Best Communities Communities About Reddit Blog Careers Press. Top Reddit Jokes (@topredditjokes) / Twitter. One’s man’s trash is another man’s treasure. It is funnier when spoken, but since I have no friends, Reddit will have to do. but it could come after a great joke, a heartfelt story, or just because . Right away, the two of them ran into some nearby bushes and you could hear all kinds of strange sounds and moans from there. 145 Dad Jokes That are Actually Funny. Playboy’s 18 unspoken rules of sex! 118 dumb and stupid jokes that are actually funny! Source: www. The signboard reads "Convert to Christianity today and earn $100!" The first Jew says, "What a load of crap. The insecure husband joke 4. John is trying to convince Fred how smart his dog is. Reddit consists of thousands of subreddits, which are pages devoted to individual topics. Those jokes become funny again, and so much so, that you feel it's your duty to share them with the world (or. The seller says sure and sends the man out back. upvote downvote report. “It was probably some type of pun . " and it says, in German "French Military Achievement", I fucking lost it. Why do mice have such small balls? “So few of them know how to dance. What is the funniest clean joke you have ever heard? Judas: hey Jesus are you coming to the last supper? Jesus: the what!?!? Judas: supper I mean supper. 4k Posted by 7 days ago 2 17 simulation of monkey pressing button spoiler 627 comments 24. His stepfather, Gene DePape, said David DePape grew up in Powell River, B. What in the world is an "anti" joke? Think of it this way: All comedy is about surprise. What is the funniest clean joke you have ever heard? Related Topics. "You Know, You Could Do Better. " Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn't like it when she went the extra mile. 4 Please Rise Which explains why so many country stars sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at football games. What's The Most Supernatural Experience You've Ever Had? (Reddit Stories) Share your own funny and best stories about this post/thread below in the commen. Funny Short Jokes What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. "YOU believe that!" He replies. Alot of cotton, one of the fuzziest alots ever spotted in the wild. is no Rain Without Thunder " , Funny memes Essential T-shirt Essential T-Shirt. 25 Knock Knock Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny. 30 People In This Online Group Reveal Their Best Jokes That. You are required to visit if you are into gadgets, gaming, computers, robots (really big ones), ninjas, eskimos, stuff with blinking lights, and/or pretty much anything technical. Second, the "joke" came from a friend who showed me an Alexa/Google Home Commercial that had been edited such that the device responded in German. This is one of my favorite jokes that NOBODY ever thinks is funny. Seamus said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. - Your wife drowned - we pulled her out of the water. Friends is an American television sitcom created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, which aired on NBC from September 22, 1994, to May 6, 2004, lasting ten seasons. Could it be that "I Do," is the longest sentence?. Bored Panda, "52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever" Reddit , "What's a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?" Best Life , "40 Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At". “We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. 3k Posted by 4 days ago Long A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. "Ethel that man has his PANTS unzipped!" "Well Marge if you've seen one you've seen 'em all. 175 Bad Jokes That You Can't Help but Laugh At. "What do you want I should pay you?". Love a corny pun? You don't have to be anyone's father to appreciate the funniest dad jokes that Reddit has to offer. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for. Bartender: Oh man that really sucks! What did you do? Man: I told her to pack her shit and get the hell out! Bartender: What about your best friend? Man: I looked him straight in the eyes and said BAD DOG!” — sinister_compliment. The man is shocked and asks what the dog is doing out here. But John came fifth and won a toaster. The amount of smoke noticeably reduces. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. Proselytizing schmucks!" The second Jew says,. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. That day, Rabbi Finklestein comes in to get his payot trimmed. The man and the dog see each other, and the dog says, “hey, how’s it goin?”. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? "Wipe it off and say you're sorry. When the actual joke is that the Chinese person is named How Long. Reddit is an amazing platform that has 52 million daily users checking out news, opinions, events and also jokes! Reddit has had some pretty funny jokes told on the platform over time so we decided to put together a list of reddit's funniest jokes ever based on the amount of likes it has received, being safe for work, how funny we find them and understandability for the audience. A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. He wouldn't know a joke if it came served on a bed of lettuce Why are women, who have the whole male world at their mercy, not funny?. Jokes come in all shapes and sizes, from the ones that require a lot of setup and a health attention span to the quick zingers that you can shoot off without thinking. Registration is not available and users typically post anonymously. Reddit communities grow powerful in plain sight. "Always borrow money from a pessimist. License Funniest Joke I ever heard Clips Here:http://dickclarklicensi. It's amazing how entertaining two-line jokes from Reddit can be. 10 funniest jokes ever told that you can use for the joke of the day! Researchers analyzed over 1000 jokes and 36000 people voted, so these are the best . "I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing. News_of_Entwives: The shovel really was a groundbreaking invention. I should have asked for a jury. Room 13," says the concierge and hands him the key My first ever dirty-ish joke I ever heard, still makes me. Discover short videos related to best bar jokes reddit on TikTok. Best Dark Humor Jokes 1. A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers. Why do mice have such small balls? "So few of them know how to dance. Playboy's 18 unspoken rules of sex! 118 dumb and stupid jokes that are actually funny! Source: www. Men of Reddit, what was something you didn't know about women till you got with one?. So the mortician rolled him over. Disclaimer: these are actually. One prick and it is gone forever. A man looks in the newspaper ads and sees “talking dog $20”. Clean/stupid 165 airplanes walk into a bar, the bartender says "sorry, we dont serve airplanes here. 118 Dumb And Stupid Jokes That Are Actually Funny! Jimmy 10/08/2022 Jokes Tags: Classic Jokes Puns Family Friendly Jokes. I had a dream where an evil queen forced me to eat a gigantic marshmallow. More complex jokes tend to be funnier but only up to a point, reasonably undemanding observations of idiosyncrasies in the world. "Mind if i take a look?" - without a reply from the landlord, the boy enters the pub to be greeted with an enormous amount of smoke. It really doesn’t matter if it’s a funny dad joke or a bad dad joke, the reaction is always the same. One day a wizard, feeling sorry for the statues, brought them to. So we've collected some of the best / worst travel and leisure based dad gags in an attempt to Picture: Reddit. Why do they keep taking the world by surprise?. 31 Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb, They're Actually Funny! #17 Is EPIC. Vote 6 6 comments Best Add a Comment RedTree40 • 38 min. What Are the 10 Funniest Jokes?. The Best Clean Jokes What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! What bow can't be tied? A rainbow! How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken Came in another box. Paw raises up, “Git my gun, Maw. Everything's a Joke Until It's Not. Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are some certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. It's no surprise the knock knock joke has lasted nearly 100 years—its countless set-ups and punchlines have made people laugh the world over! Here are 25 of our favourites. What the dad joke world needs is some fresh material, and thanks to Reddit's r/jokes and r/dadjokes, we have just that. Your mom died (indian) 7 months ago. A joke about arranged marriages in India is trending on Reddit and frankly, its hilarious. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?" "Yeah," the other cow says. ago Guy yells to a stranger across the river, "I need to get to the other side". That is wrong on so many different levels. As Seinfeld explained on Reddit: I think the best Seinfeld episode idea I ever contributed was that George pretending to be a marine . Here are 60 examples of anti-jokes that we think represent the genre at its finest. It's a nice saying, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up 3. Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend. Find out everything you need to know to get started on Reddit. 118 Dumb And Stupid Jokes That Are Actually Funny! 2022. 0 Laughs Share TheLaughFactory @ 2. What lights up a soccer stadium?. The seller says sure and sends the man out back. William Shatner tells a joke about Tommy Lasorda getting into a horse to play in a game. Kiwi Country with Georgia Burt. " "Fine, sir, here's one of our best rooms. 8 of Dave Chappelles Funniest Jokes 9,757,190 views Jul 14, 2020 Dave Chapelle has a countless amount of funny jokes, these are 8 of my favorites. Dirty Reddit jokes easy to understand. 10 Surprising, Funny Subreddits Worth Your Time The subreddit is a collection of things that nobody would ever believe if you didn't . In the comments section, please feel free to submit your own “intellectual jokes” . What is the funniest clean joke you have ever heard? Related Topics. So please, enjoy 20 of the funniest YouTube videos Reddit has deemed to be worthy of internet gold. It's amazing how entertaining two-line jokes from Reddit can be. ago You spell Spyder with a "y" Why? 237 _l_l_l_l_l_l_l_l_ • 7 yr. The best they could do is give a wave. The funniest joke I think I ever heard is part of Jerry Seinfeld's airplane material from his late-nineties special. What is the funniest clean or dirty joke that you have ever heard? 165 airplanes walk into a bar, the bartender says "sorry, we dont serve airplanes here. That's probably the closest most of us will ever come to understanding photons. On his way out, his wife says, "and while you're there, get a carton of eggs". In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, “Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job. Dirty Johnny: Greatest Joke of all time by Norm MacDonald In school there was a fella named Dirty Johnny. "Pretend to shoot it," he says. We all love a good dirty joke, especially here at EBW, but that doesn't mean clean humor can't also be pretty funny. Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. ago It's my favorite map so far. 3 Major Milestone A nice set of steak knives would have gone over better. If, as Shakespeare said, brevity is the soul of wit, then these short quips are the height of humor. " So the 164 male airplanes go "OK, we'll leave. I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even. Nobody saw it coming Advertisement 9. And while there's certainly a place. How Long is a Chinese name. A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years out in a park. Are you looking for stupid jokes to cheer someone up? Stupidity is always funny! Yeah, it can be embarrassing sometimes, but most of it is hilarious! Imagine having a friend that is so stupid that it makes him so funny as well. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. Reddit is an amazing platform that has 52 million daily users checking out news, opinions, events and also jokes! Reddit has had some pretty funny jokes told on the platform over time so we decided to put together a list of reddit's funniest jokes ever based on the amount of likes it has received, being safe for work, how funny we find them and understandability for the audience. Guys I have the funniest joke ever, like, no one can top this one. A whole lot of funny can fit into just a couple of quick sentences. Why did the sperm cross the road? "Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Check out these hilarious short jokes! 1. They are in no particular order. " What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 47 MOST Offensive Jokes (Fu**ing Inappropriate and Hilarious). The most intellectual joke you know: An idiot's guide to the Reddit. " "Yes Ethel but this one quacked and is eating . " And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen roses. (not to be confused with the alot of spots, which is spotted whether in the wild or not) 26. If you are on the same page then this complete collection of puns is exactly what you are looking for. One day in class the teacher is doing a thing we're the kids raise their hands to tell a story and then say what the moral is of that story. That's unless you're talking about the classic and hilarious dad jokes we've compiled right here. What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? Computers don’t laugh at 3. It can take upwards of five years to bring a lithium. Bartender: Oh man that really sucks! What did you do? Man: I told her to pack her shit and get the hell out! Bartender: What about your best friend? Man: I looked him straight in the eyes and said BAD DOG!” — sinister_compliment. And then there are some that are too dumb, they are actually hilarious and make you laugh out loud. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Join our discord: https://discord. com Whichever the occasion, dad jokes are as hilarious as they come. "Whatever you're doing is working, lad!" exclaims the landlord. Dealing with the issue isn't as. What is the funniest clean or dirty joke that you have ever. "How many trees do you think you've chopped down?" the guy asks. Usually when people tell dirty jokes they aren’t funny – or at least I don’t find them. "I'm not sure; I was born with them. Okay Infinity Ward you’ve had your fun now can we have whatever real map you had in store for us cause surely this map isn’t real. A whole lot of funny can fit into just a couple of quick sentences. Although humor is subjective, one of the funniest jokes according to Stuff You Couldn’t Make Up is: Snake one, “Are we poisonous?” Snake two, “I don’t know, why?” Snake one, “I just bit my lip. It was funny, but when it got to part where one of the kids asks "Alexa, tell another joke. Why did the man fall down the well? Because he didn't see that well! 2. A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing! What do you call bears with no ears? B. Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. Frequencies Just Played ZM's Acoustic Corner Locals Only - NZ On Air ZM's Studio Access Play ZM Live on your Amazon Alexa Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley ZM Drive with Bree & Clint Fact Of The Day Saturday's with Storme & Celia The A, B or C? Podcast Kiwi Country with Georgia Burt Shows All Shows. Please lord let me win the lottery just once. What is the funniest clean joke you have ever heard? Related Topics. Reddit user l3mon_aid is saying that the joke is actually about the chicken killing himself. a guy goes to get a room in a hotel. What is the shortest, very funny joke you know?. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. Be one of the first to comment We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the corniest joke they've ever heard (and then threw in a few more from Reddit for good measure). ago This joke is motherfucking amazing 50 Continue this thread 1 more reply level 1 · 1 yr. It was funny, but when it got to. With their unwavering penchant for puns, these are some of the best Dad jokes that we could find, courtesy of r/DadJokes. I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Women of Reddit, what was something you didn't know about men till you got with one?. The Best One Liner Jokes Ever Heard On Reddit. The major plus of short jokes is that they're easy to repeat from off the top of your head, meaning that the 50 gags below are perfect for pulling out the next time you're hanging around with your friends,. Below, find a sampling of some of the Reddit submissions. Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. What is the funniest clean joke you have ever heard? 0 points. A man comes to a bar in dirty clothes and meets his woman in the arms of another man, and she says: Go home and clean your clothes right now!. eraser_dust: "Letting go of a loved one can be hard, but sometimes, it's the only way to survive a rock climbing catastrophe. What Are Some of the Funniest Jokes Ever Told?. Credit: Posted on Reddit by @didgey100. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Everyday is a funday at FunnyWorm. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. Another great X Ray joke! Ever wondered what a radiologist's selfie . He strolls up to the counter and looks at the librarian dead in the eyes and screams MA'AM I'LL HAVE A CHEESEBURGER A LARGE FRY AND A LARGE MILKSHAKE PLEASE!!!. * It's pretty funny to see peoples reactions to this joke and to see how they reply to it when all you're really making is a statement. Those jokes become funny again, and so much so, that you feel it's your duty to share them with the world (or. A guy strikes up a conversation with a lumberjack that he meets in a bar. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up. Reddit has had some pretty funny jokes told on the platform over time so we decided to put together a list of reddit's funniest jokes ever . License Funniest Joke I ever heard Clips Here:http://dickclarklicensi. Another play on words is that the dyslexic devil worshipper sold. William Shatner tells a joke about Tommy Lasorda getting into a horse to play in a game. The Best Anti-Jokes Ever Written. "If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife's birthday,. The funniest joke in the UK. " The bartender says "propeller!" Dirty How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw! Horrible. 11 Extremely Funny One Liner Jokes “Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?” Russell Howard “I’m on a whiskey diet. " There's a silence, then a loud bang. Imprisoned Picture Q: Why did the picture get arrested? A: It got framed. ago He likes to put the "fun" in phonetic. Top 10 Funniest Dark Humor Jokes and Puns Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for the day. Best jokes from comedians “Crime in multi-storey car parks. * You have people thinking about how to answer how long the name is. That would be a big step forward. I was like, "Ya pulling my leg!". Dirty Jokes That Are Actually Funny And NSFW. 0 Laughs Share TheLaughFactory @ President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech If you were my husband I would poison your tea. The ones where the punchline doesn’t make you laugh, it makes you audibly groan with discomfort and frustration. A man looks in the newspaper ads and sees “talking dog $20”. Here are our favorite picks: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?. Two unfunny people figure out the best joke ever!Thank you to:Dtrix!http://www. Everything from current events and politics to funny memes has a place here, and one needs only to search for a subject that interests them to find an entire community of like-minded souls looking to share their web findings and daily musings with others. Dave Chapelle has a countless amount of funny jokes, these are 8 of my favorites. So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think! #1. They're almost too awesome to be true. Tell me the funniest joke you have ever heard. These Are the Funniest One. Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. Nice, Ron Ron sneezes and scares deer Watch on Ron really just finds a way to screw. - Let's start with the bad one. Yes, it was a bad joke, but at least it wasn't a repost which is kind of what we're here to discuss today: As many of you are no doubt aware, spammers and bad actors have been flooding Reddit lately, and /r/Jokes has started to get hit pretty hard. com/slopsmcgeeTwitterhttp://. Alter boys- "I can't believe we caught all these sum bitches!" Priest- "These are the best sum bitches I have ever ate!" Cardinal- "Nun, you . What do you call a zombie who cooks stir fries? Dead man wok-ing. comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment. Did you ever wonder why Peter Pan is always flying? It’s because he can never never land. Priest- "These are the best sum bitches I have ever ate!" Cardinal- "Nun, you cooked these sum bitches just right!" Nun- "I sure did, you boys gotta catch some more of these sum bitches!" The pope looks around at everyone with a surprised look on his face. ” Tommy Cooper “I was married by a judge. License Funniest Joke I ever heard Clips Here:http://dickclarklicensi. Today i'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but i'm afraid i'll probably screw it. How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. A computer programmer goes to buy some bread. A big list of heard jokes! 110 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! UPJOKE. The funniest sub on Reddit. Two Jews are walking past a church. 4) after f***ing don't eat too much go for more liquids. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? “Wipe it off and say you’re sorry. When I woke up, my pillow was gone. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. The r/Jokes subreddit is packed with funny one-liners, hilarious monologues, and everything in-between. He's not breathing, so his friend calls 911. To put it in perspective, all of the lithium mined in 2021 would be enough to support a single month of demand by 2040, researchers indicate. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket You can hide but you can’t run. My friend knew I would enjoy it. A joke about democracy and freedom. The insecure husband joke. "My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. So, too, with your sense of humour: while you might be too cool for a knock-knock or a two-line pun in your teens or early twenties, something happens when you turn 30+ (or sooner if you have kids!). What is the funniest joke you've ever heard or read? I heard this on the radio when traveling home from Ft Hood in Texas to Buffalo NY. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. Usually when people tell dirty jokes they aren't funny - or at least I don't find them to be. Alleged Paul Pelosi attacker grew up in B. These hilarious animal cartoons prove that animals are. Of course I wouldn’t say anything about her unless I could say something good. What’s the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will search for a golf ball. 4chan is an anonymous English-language imageboard website. Why it's funny: Because Sartre believes that an absence of something is still something. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin' on the porch swing talkin bout the good ol days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen! “Look at the size of that bird, Paw!” she exclaims. He strolls up to the counter and looks at the librarian dead in the eyes and screams MA'AM I'LL HAVE A CHEESEBURGER A LARGE FRY AND A LARGE.